Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat chested.

"If you want to cancel the wedding, then I'll understand," she said. The guy remarked, "I don't mind that you're flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage a
nyway."

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because he is just like a baby below the waist. The girl remarked, "I don't mind that like a baby below the
waist, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

And so, the happy couple went on to Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes. True to her word, she is as flat as a washboard. Then, the guy took
off his clothes. After one glance at his naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.

When she regained consciousness, the guy said, "I told you before we got married, so why were you so surprised?"

"You told me it was just like a baby." The guy replied, "It is! 8 pounds and 21 inches long!"

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Apparently the Catholic Church has announced that condoms may now be used in exceptional circumstances.

For example, when a choir boy has diarrhoea.

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

I said to my wife, "I'm tired of looking in this mirror and seeing my big beer belly, so I'm going to do something about it."

She replied, "Excellent idea. You're going to start working out at the gym then?"

"Don't be silly. I'm buying a shorter mirror."

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

I went to see the Red Arrows today.

There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief.

It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show.

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

ages of women
 

1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.

2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.

3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.

4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.

5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."
"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian."
"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"
The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."
"There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust."

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Minutes later he runs back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Hi bro , already pm u...

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Wah suddenly so many gems keep popping up in this thread...:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Got gems meh?...where? where?...no c also

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Jokes lah bro...our Master Seng Seng started the ball rolling:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Just a word of caution for u guys here. There is one okt in Penang who has been operating for quite some time now. name is J*^#b..just like the biscuits..price of his stocks are quite pricey.

Since I got some free time during the long weekend, I tot I jz sampled his stocks out. I dun want to go thru the ignominy of putting a shitty FR, but suffice to say it is certainly not a worthwhile session. Tried out a 20 yr old Turk after some clubbing.attractive looking but unfortunately with sagging boobs..supposed to hv an overnight session with her but for the first time, I came across a WL who only services her clients in the night and early morning b4 the sun rises... Have any of you met this werewolf or werewolverine? When I was doing her, she was like moaning n shouting so loudly until the other hotel guests knocked on the door. Told her to zip it even though she was grunting away like Maria sharapova.

Then, the next morning when the sun rose, she said she couldn't hv sex in the morning cos she only has the mood at night..:confused: and to top it off, she said she was exhausted...from a single bonk?? Din know the euro recession cause the European sexual organs to go thru recession as well...

Told the okt off but he asked me to try out another one..I m not going to say how much I paid for werewolf girl but the okt was giving all sorts of excuses like that the girl had to travel to a neighboring country the next day to hv her visa renewed blah blah blah... Problem is why din he say so earlier?? Some more he can proclaim his girls are all tip notch one..haven't we heard this line far too often?

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Tats y I never like to go for any agent.
It's not that I got any thing againts them but I've heard & had too many bad experience & dissapointments.
If it's yrself choose or find u'll not feel that coz it's yr own choice but if it's a recomendation or a promo then u'll feel cheated after paying such a pricey & unsatisfactory treatment.

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

You got a GEM, sure can shine life lah. Poor soul like me still need reliable helping hands to find good dishes. KEKEKE.:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Agree with u 100% bro but too bad, we dun hv such place in Penang like ACE where we can take some time to scout for those we feel we can connect with..

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

To connect with Betong, what is the ETD from Penang. :confused::D

Sorry, been MIA for quite a while. Bro, you're mistaken. Penang is filled with opportunities for easy fucks but you gotta be a little bold too. Megamall Prai, Summit BM and many areas in Penang are full of chicks - Viets, Myanmar, Laos, Indon, just a matter of sweet talking them and they're yours as FUBU. Alternatively there are many girls who work on Star Cruises, PRC, Hong Kong, Macau, Filipino etc. They usually ronda Penang on their off days or when the ship berths. All ripe for picking bro. Reply more later. Busy with you know who.

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

ETA from Penang to betong is about one hour to one hour fifteen minutes.. I hv not gone there for few years now but the last I checked, time line is still more or less the same:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Bro,

Many of us dun possess ur suave or hunting skills with this star cruise gurls.. Maybe u can give some tips on this haha...

As for the easy pick ups or chickadees u mentioned on mainland, perhaps we r playing on a different turf so to speak..in your case, u r the hunter on the prowl for prey.. Lazy bumps like me dun hv the ammo to go around haha..:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Who says I got a Gem & can shine life?
Me here all alone & not even a candle light...:(

Go on the Star Cruise bro. Take the Friday overnight cruise. Get a few contacts, for beginners, stay away from casino staff. Concentrate on bar, karaoke and restaurant girls. All you need to do is engage them in conversation, then ask for Facebook or phone number. Very hard to get them to do anything in the ship itself as they are constantly monitored. Btw, tipping heavily is sure to get you noticed. Time between 2-4am is good to pick up gals as most men will be busy in the casino or fast asleep.

Bro, the only ammo you need is the size of your wallet which I believe will not be a problem for you :-)

Bro, the days of my suave and hunting skills are long gone. Now its even hard to find time to log on here and reply messages. And dont underestimate yourselves guys. Its the law of nature that males are attracted to females. You need to let out the animal in you. LOL. And the older you are, the more desperate the animal in you. BTW, lots of NL Uni gals hang out regularly at Batu Ferringhi. Go for the kill guys.

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Suey Ger must have some hidden treasure in Penang we do know leh. Maybe like those cuming down from the Cruises leh.:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Ha ha bro...I oso want to go for star cruise too..may be can bump into bro futaba..the last time I went there, saw many chickadees but could not do anything cos went with family n relatives.. Btw, Master, do we hv a head count on Betong expedition? I understand u ban a certain good looking boy name Shylook cos of his looks? Btw, children under 12 get 50% off normal rates...valid for Malaysia Day month only..:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Recently went to the shop lot nearby "wu bai" to buy something.. saw few chinese girl standing right in front of wu bai. Any happening over there?
After looking at it get horny and direct call pv to have a look at the stock but to my dissapointment not really good so just walked off. To those bro who went to ipoh which operate by the same okt i felt the stock there is way much better than pg la..

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

Looks like I can't adopt ur modus operandi for cruise chickadees..reason is cos I dun think I hv the chance to go on the hunt there without being spotted by my family or parents' friends...too many familiar faces every time on board..may be time to put on my power rangers mask again..:D

Wah, your family the Heavenly Kings of Gambling ah bro?

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

What to do bro? Penangites considered as second class citizens lor... My prc gal in Ipoh says many of her country ladies dislike cumming in Penang cos they hv to serve many foreigners...wonder why Penang got so many of them? Tourists may be?:D

Re: Pearl of the Orient
 

actually, we got banned from genting highlands cos we kept winning haha...so hv to creep into the cruise ships.. logistically,i think u r much better off than me as you can oso roam more freely than me and pick up the girls during their off days..but if u hv some leads, dun forget to pm ur rather 'malnourished' fren here..after all, in primary school, chickadees was my favourite food n din know KFC existed at time yet.:D