Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

I do not "miss" girlfriend, family etc when I am away for a long time. I even do not remember giving them phone calls etc. I miss my dog though.

I currently live my life alone, like who wants to be in my life, welcome. Who wants to leave, can go. Now single, I try to hook up and meet new people, via multiple dating apps, I match but i cant be bothered to text / reply. It's like, if u like me u will text me.

But I am not emo stay at home and sulk kind. I enjoy my life with my friends, working on trying to re-open my business after it closed due to covid.

Recently broke up with my ex-gf that I did everything for and even have plans for our life together, but when we broke up, I just wished her a good life and moved on. Went out with friends and worked on job etc. No tears no sadness.

I do have a couple of girls that keep texting me, but i not interested. I do not ghost but I just give cold replies.

Something wrong with me? Am I cold hearted? Or is it i endured too much and become numb and keep all inside without knowing?

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

Hey bro, I think I'm in a similar situation. Quit my job and broke up, now alone and living life rather.. calmly? I meet up with friends often and just chat and have a good time. Other times I'm just home learning stuff.

I guess people like us are comfortable with being independent and self-reliant. But whether this is something you see yourself doing in 20-30 years, is a question only you can answer. I hope I can visit more countries in the next several years, and get into a new job that I can be more passionate in. I'm focusing more on consistently taking daily steps now.

All the best!

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

Cant offer any advice but I wish you all the best in finding yourself and sorting out your feelings.

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

glad to know i'm not the only one like this.
not cold hearted, is just we already seen so much in life to know that many things dont matter.

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

Indeed, and what this experience shows us is what matters is what we want from our mortal lives, and what we do to achieve it.

Not things like how other people feel towards us, or go out of our way to please other people.

Life becomes simpler and more purposeful when free of the shackle of external validation.

I hope, and do expect to find a permanent partner one day. But it doesn't worry me, I know it will happen when I decide it becomes a priority.

In the meantime, there's much to do and achieve.

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

ya even if my partner walks away someday, i wont be too sad as i have been through this many times and know how to deal with it. Can always find another new partner as well.

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

I would say "love yourself first before loving others". Happiness comes from within not because of your other half or your partner. You can still be happy being alone.

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

i think its more of being numb ? i wouldnt say emotionless. u still feel for your pet dog ? so i guess the people you do not miss are people you do not attach yourself to ?

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

i think u just got sick and tired of drama and have made the decision subtlely to just live for yourself and bo chup the world

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

You guys actually are on the right track. Feeling hurt DOES NOT HELP in anything.

She leaves, you just continue with life, that's fine...

I wish i could be like this...

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

Thanks guys for the replies and advice.

I can understand being comfortable alone and being happy alone. Loving myself and achieving things for myself.

I just worry that I become emotionless and "heartless".

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

base on TS situation, i think he doesnt get attached too easily so when they leave him etc, he ok

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

It seems it is a case of 'Attachement' for the Thread Starter, & when issues get worse, he realized the truth & sought for 'Detachment' from this world, & worried that if he can no longer feels anything, with NO SENSE of belonging & worse the reason to wake up & greet the sunrise with hope for a better day, life will only become meaningless, a chore to perform, or even worse, end it once & for all while in depression.

May he know that he is NOT alone, & that Humanity had grappled with this issue for CENTURIES since Civilization began.

Many educated would have heard of a revered wise man born 300BC -Siddhartha Gautama now known as Buddha & his teachings. He found out that because we Humanity become so attached to material life, when once loose it, will only lose not just those material attachments such as money, goods, unreciprocated love, etc but even our own hard earned mentality built up over years, & is proven by the numerous Human lives destroyed by others or even by oneself, even today.

Thus, his solution is to treat life as an illusion, while is true as whatever happened, had already happened & cannot be changed, but however, REALITY is based upon each mortal's 5 common senses - see, touch, feel, taste & hear. That is something we mortals can never change & for sure, it is no illusion.

Therefore, Humanity WILL HAVE to have a CRITICAL thinking mindset, never be afraid to make mistakes, but ALWAYS to acknowledge mistakes made, correct them in order to progress, as we mortals are not perfect.

To be 'Detached' is to deny oneself of life on Earth. Caring for none but only oneself is the quickest way to depression. No mortal life is meant to be lonely, as each mortal is NOT born out of a vacuum. It needs a family to create & sustain life.

As no mortal is perfect, may we remember such facts. It is from UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, that we were born, & a way of life to retain such traits to the next generations for the survival & progress of civilisation. Which parent would want their lineage & love ones lives ended?

The journey of life had never been promised by any mortal or immortal that it would be a bed of roses daily. Adverse situations will occur from time to time, but the solution is to find compromises as no Human thinks alike - common ground & build it up from there to progress to a better life for all, here on Earth or to the stars, a destiny for Humanity that was promised eons ago. NO mortal is a genius & knows it all, not even touted AI ChatGPT which is only a program that is created by mortals, which all knows mortals are flawed beings. Take a break, chill out, hold discussions with friends or others, to listen, to contribute, be challenged peacefully in order to find solutions, or the best of worse solutions, to progress one's life & others...

Each mortal had been given the gift of freedom at birth, to make choices, intelligently or foolishly, but it comes with consequences for oneself, loved ones & others.

Attachment, Detachment are only the gift of free will. So too being caring or heartless. It lays within one's free mind. Ultimately, to live life, we Humans will always have to bear in mind Civilization's Golden Rule - Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you - a proven Truism throughout history that saw the progress & growth of our Civilization, juggernauting over obstacles & false beliefs/self serving egos...

To some, as usual, my post seemed 'Cheem'. Just relax, chill out with a glass of wine or beer, listen to some chilling music, & then ponder about life & its meaning, & understanding will be within one's grasp.

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

I understand your post, so it is not wasted. HAHAHA.

The simpler explanation would be:
TS led the relationship to a broke up with his GF as he does not envision the life that he would be having once married together. In fact, he does not even like it that he has to do everything for his girlfriend and not having an enjoyable life. Put it simply, life sucks when his girlfriend is around.

TS does not even want to get another GF as he sees himself doing the same old shit similar to when his ex-gf was around and this is something that he does not like. It is very boring and uninteresting for him to keep repeating the same old shit to new matches on dating apps.

The main problem is he feels like he have done so much for his ex-girlfriend till he got so mentally tired and he doesn't want to initiate and form another new relationship having to repeat the same shits again. He want others to put in the effort instead.

HAHAHA.

Re: Is me being too realistic making me feel less emotions?
 

Maybe TS is a case of “Once bitten shy twice” haha

Many people have been bitten many many times over and over yet they still go for it again and again. Simple reason- afraid of being alone. They dislike being alone so much that they rather get bitten than to live life alone. They rather stay in a toxic relationship than to be alone. But there are some who truly like being alone. They can live alone, go to restaurants alone, watch movies alone, travel solo etc.

After my last relationship ended I began to do everything alone. Travel, dining etc. Just me and myself. After a while I enjoyed it so much that I start to feel a little detached from family and friends. I questioned myself why am I acting a little cold and distant to people to I know. Then I realised it’s because iam addicted to the peace and quiet only achievable when iam alone. I do meet up with frds once in a while but most of my leisure time iam alone. It’s quite exhilarating to know my happiness do not need to come from anyone nor depend on anyone.

Being alone is a power few people can handle. If TS enjoys being alone, congratulations.