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Stop feeling bad because you are good.
I respect you for speaking out what you feel. It takes a man to do that.
You hurt her very much. Because you threatened to take your business elsewhere. And so she had to do what she did not want to do but was forced to do because she wanted your future business.
You know what you did was not right; stopped, paid more, chabut. And then you spoke out here. Good for you.
In your heightened sexually excited state, and because you felt for her, you wanted her. That’s normal. You did not know that it would hurt her badly. You did not mean to hurt her at all.
Because you are at heart a good person.
So relax. Continue with your massage sessions but remember that she doesn’t want sex. Talk about other things. Go to another for sex after the massage session. Concentrate on your sex partner, not her, during sex.
You are OK. Stop feeling bad because you are good.
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