Originally Posted by Penguin23
I have been in a relationship with several KTV gals, from the time I was still married till today. I got divorced 3 years ago (not because of a KTV gal or FL or WL or ML), and around the time of divorce I met a Viet KTV gal who is now my gf. We are thinking of marriage within the next year. I have 2 kids, and I take care of both my kids after the divorce (i.e. I have care and control as well as joint custody of my children)
My unsolicited opinion of your situation, is that it is best you come clean with her. Tell her how you really feel about her, yes but also tell her about your marital status. Honesty is the best policy, they say - and it is more than just a cliche saying. KTV girls are used to having men lie to them all the time, so if you persist in hiding your true status, she will find out sooner or later and the situation will not be to your advantage.
Give her some time to think about what she wants to do, make sure you tell her what you wish for the relationship. The last part is by far the hardest, and will require you to think long and hard about what you want, what you can accept and what is realistically possible.
A fellow Samster that I got to know from this forum, was in exactly the same situation as you. He met a nice and genuine KTV gal and he was clear and upfront about his marital status right from the start. The KTV gal had a long think about it, and she agreed to be his gf despite the unfavourable circumstances. She wants to have a baby with him, and she is clear that she will bring up the kid on her own (with the help of her mother). My friend has met the KTV girl's mother and they have met each other. The girl quit KTV and returned to a normal job, she shuttles between SG and VN and my friend does the same. I hear about the things she has done for him, and I have no doubt that her care and concern is genuine. She cares about the fact that he should not be extravagant in spending on her, and insists on staying in a simple hotel (circa $100/room night in SG) during her visits here. She meets him at the airport in Vietnam and obviously takes good care of him whenever he visits.
The situation I outlined above is highly unusual, and extremely uncommon. I do not hold this up as a positive example of what can happen to you, but I have no doubt that my friend's honesty played a big part in the positive outcome. The other part that was heavily in his favour, is the fact that his girl was already close to 30 years old. Girls that age realize that the world is no longer their oyster and that their pussies no longer give them their free pick of eligible young men. The younger girls are aggressive, prettier and will get first pick of the available men out there. So - circumstances matter.
When I first got serious with my gf, she was still working and I knew she had customers that always took her out for short-time. She had her trusted Mummy ask me point-blank about my marital status, and in that split second I made the decision to tell her about my true situation (i.e. I was undergoing a divorce, which was not yet finalized but has already started and I have to take care of 2 kids). The Mummy believed me, and vouched for my character and we started a relationship which has thankfully lasted till today. Along the way I also learnt many things about her, especially about her past. The cultural differences are real and difficult to bridge, but like all couples we take these things step by step
Many years ago, when I was still married I also had a 1,5 year relationship with an ML, whom I maintained as a XS after she left SG. That relationship was a disaster, because of the constant lying and the ultimate lack of trust. She got pregnant with my kid, but she aborted the child without telling me and we broke up right after that. She came back to SG recently for a few months, and I heard from several accounts that she has changed for the worse and looked visibly older (she's born in the Year of the Monkey), I felt sad but admittedly I have since moved on and I cannot do anything else for her.
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