Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneRangerBill
Yes, what you said is very true. After years together, sex with her became predictable. Guess we should have tried to spice things up or learn new things but we didn't. That's why she found another partner who obviously satisfied her ways I can't.
But then again, sex is not everything in marriage, right? Trust, responsibility, loyalty, commitment plays a large part too right? No any couples can claim they do everything well. Whatever is shortcoming, you accept (unless the shortcomings are too big a huddle to cross)and judge him/her with their other qualities as a whole, right?
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The mistake I made was to believe in so called prestigious research studies from international institutes on Human behavioral studies, that men are more highly sexual driven than women.
In reality, sexual drive is the same in both Human male & female species, no matter the age, based upon my life's experiences...
I would like to share a personal experience with you.
I met a wonderful lady once. She was no model standard, nor a plain Jane. We met during a seminar, & I was not looking for love. It was just she had insights that I sought, & honestly, I was charmed by the light that sparkled in her eyes, her cheeky smile often & especially by the brain behind all that.
I sought to discuss with her over issues, & gradually, based upon liked minds, we connected, & overtime, developed further than normal acquaintance but into intimacy, as we were comfortable with each other. Each time we met, regardless if it was at Starbacks, or a hot & sweaty hawker stall, ultimately ended up in a hotel room.
Over time, I felt strongly that she was the one I had sought for long, & invited her to live with me, in my apartment, as I am single, & hoped that with more time, she will be my eventual partner in the journey of life...
As she was single too, & living in 4rm flat in AMK sharing with her parents & brother, she agreed, but she jokingly made a condition - that we cannot make love every nite, based upon her presumption that I was a satyr, as each time we spent together, we made love not once, but few times in the night. She jokingly told me that she does not want to walk like a crab, with opened legs, the next morning to office...
For the next few months we greatly enjoyed our love making. However, as time flew by, being professionals, our responsibilities grew bigger, & made worse by me whom placed priorities on work higher than my own life, almost married to my work. She was a far better manager of priorities than me, & eventually, our love making got lesser & lesser..& on lonely nites, she told me I was ignoring her, which I never did, as no matter how late I had to do my work at home, after work, I would cuddle up to her, kissed her, etc...but just too tired to make love...
My view is that life does not revolves around the bed alone, but with many other issues to consider....
Eventually, she had a career offer, to head the company's dept in Germany. We made love that nite, knowing that it will be the last time we would see each other again...
We tried to keep in contact, but it is never the same as being physically together... The last I knew was that she married a very junior colleague in her dept, whom have little responsibility & could give her all the time she needed...I wish them well...
As for myself, I moved on with my life. I am no celibate & only Human with needs & equally priorities in life. In moments of Human needs I would patronize establishments where companionship is TRANSACTIONAL, & even then, even popular & loved by the ladies there, I would never cheat them of their future, most of times only mere touches, hugs & kisses to feel Human again than a robot that most of the times I think I am becoming...
The point of my post is that you are not alone. Your situation is different from mine, but do not be ignorant of women & their NEEDS.
Male & female are as different as Mars & Venus. There will be many factors in life that you would have to take into consideration, now that you are single again, but still TETHERED with family ethos, not just your kids, but your parents, relatives, friends & career too.
Never be afraid to know love again. Age is never a barrier to love, only one -being a Singaporean, have to be pragmatic, to resolve as many known issues first & courageously whenever issues crop up, thru communication & open honest discussions with those whom matter in your life.
All the best...