how to make my FB fall for me?

[kengohchien]

The past months have been fun. We went on a holiday together, 5 days in HK.

Today we had sex in his house since his wife is overseas. my period's a bit late, but i tested negative on a pregnancy test kit. He was saying casually that i should just bear him a child, to which i retorted that I would not because he doesn't love me and just treats me like a sex plaything.
He was silent for a while and then kissed me and said I'm not only beautiful but smart.

I'm hurting right now. I know it's my fault for not ending it. each time i think i can just treat it as just another fuck. but after sex, the intimacy just makes me feel so safe and secure and warm. and it's the kind of feeling that i feel i don't deserve because i think i'm just a lousy person.

I've found a new job. I'm just waiting for my medical to be cleared and then i can tender. i don't think i'll tell him where i'm going.

and yes, he is my superior. my boss' boss' boss to be exact.
am a tangled web of emotions right now.

[AssLover]

It is good you find a different job and move on with your life. FB is pure sex release thing and we all need to understand this clearly......good luck in new job and sister start a new page in your life and you will find someone good.

[pantygal]

That's silly, girl. Why would you be even thinking of that.
However, after reading about your experience reminded about mine.

I had a fabulous FB whos super cute and charming. Sex was awesome, always awesome. I didn't know much about what we were doing but we loved doing it when we would meet. I really liked him a lot and wished that he could be my bf... But I never asked. I never asked for more than sex and I knew our relationship would stay that way because it started out that way and would remain the same.

There's no happy ending for FBs.

I moved on after I found someone whom I loved and stopped seeing him and he moved on, fucking other girls. I was happy that I was dating someone else and having a proper life... proper sex.

One year ago... We were both single again. However, knowing what I wanted in life I didn't want to go back to what we were and had even though sex with him was the best ever in life.

And I'm never gonna be a FB of another guy anymore cos' I respect myself even more, I love myself even more. Don't stay on for someone who eventually will not be yours. Don't waste your time/youth!

[luvpuss]

Originally Posted by pantygal

That's silly, girl. Why would you be even thinking of that.
However, after reading about your experience reminded about mine.

I had a fabulous FB whos super cute and charming. Sex was awesome, always awesome. I didn't know much about what we were doing but we loved doing it when we would meet. I really liked him a lot and wished that he could be my bf... But I never asked. I never asked for more than sex and I knew our relationship would stay that way because it started out that way and would remain the same.

There's no happy ending for FBs.

I moved on after I found someone whom I loved and stopped seeing him and he moved on, fucking other girls. I was happy that I was dating someone else and having a proper life... proper sex.

One year ago... We were both single again. However, knowing what I wanted in life I didn't want to go back to what we were and had even though sex with him was the best ever in life.

And I'm never gonna be a FB of another guy anymore cos' I respect myself even more, I love myself even more. Don't stay on for someone who eventually will not be yours. Don't waste your time/youth!

hmm that sounds like my FB and i , well all i wanna say is, feelings do come upon and its really hard to put them aside, like they say. its easier said than done. we all usually start off saying no feelings or strings attached, but in the end, i experienced something different. as time goes while the sex is great and the love is made, we will develop feelings for each other.. haha im not sure bout other guys as well but sure got feelings one right... dont tell me u really touch and go.

[dantes inferno]

once there are emotions involved, you have to cut it off and move on.
a clean cut is best. people suffer when they linger on with hope.

good luck to you and please end it asap. find someone else who actually cares for you.

[Kyoruxx]

You have to move on girl..... Find another better guy ba....

[sane]

Originally Posted by pantygal

And I'm never gonna be a FB of another guy anymore cos' I respect myself even more, I love myself even more. Don't stay on for someone who eventually will not be yours. Don't waste your time/youth!

well-said gal

ALways find some who luv u more than u luv him, taught by my fav teacher n it's till now that I can fully fathom the meaning.

Originally Posted by dantes inferno

people suffer when they linger on with hope.

Absolutely true. It suxs to keep waiting, waiting n waiting for things tt wont come. Move on n like what gal n dan say, dont waste ur time/youth linger on false hope!

[ethanlee]

Her question is how to make him fall for her?

Obviously she s only bend on seeking more attention from him.

U got to think carefully about your next move.

Dun be rash.

One wrong move will ruin everything.

And in the process hurt many parties

[sane]

Originally Posted by ethanlee

Her question is how to make him fall for her?

Tts y the peeps here asked her not to linger on false hope, I will say its impossible especially when the r/s started on the wrong foot.

[Cysasqiag]

if you can't accept it's only fb then leave him alone.

probably you are not too game for being a fb.

you may start afresh and look for a commitment relationship instead.

good luck.

[ethanlee]

Easier said than done.

[royalblood]

Originally Posted by pantygal

And I'm never gonna be a FB of another guy anymore cos' I respect myself even more, I love myself even more. Don't stay on for someone who eventually will not be yours. Don't waste your time/youth!

having a FB means you respect yourself. not the other way. having a FB shows that you're sexually awake and know that your needs needs to be satisfied. it's not disrepecting yourself in any way.

[angelinspiring]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

my FB is much older than me. Unfortunately, I've fallen for him. He is still pretty clear about us being just FB.

I enjoy his company, i enjoy our sex. I'm not asking for more because he is married. I have never thought of breaking up his marriage.

All I want is to just have a little more care and possibly love from him. How?

The whole thing is just making me a little depressed - because I know he just treats me as a sex object, yet I don't want to let go of what we have.

If you want him to fall for you...easy....look for another fb....when you find another fb....enjoy him.....then tell your fb you have find another fb....see how he reacts....if he kind off feel uncomfortable, that's a good news, means he wants you only for himself....but don't trust him....keep seeing the other fb....you got to play what we call "pulling and release strings"....that's the whole drama everyone falls for....

Don't be too clingy on him....it doesn't work that way....the more clingy you are the more fed up they will feel about you....so be a bit distance....sometimes refuse to meet him up...but once you meet him, fxxk him like hell....then disappear again..... it works....that's why men who go to brothel will try not to fxxk the same girl over and over again...why, cause there is no excitement in it....

sorry, it sounds harsh but its reality.....again, don't expect much of him but you can control him if you just know how to play with the game....

Angel Inspiring

[kengohchien]

Thanks for your replies. I thought of not posting already because I know I am asking for advice, getting proper advice and logically, I already know what I should do, emotionally and sexually, I get confused.

First off, the sex is good. Given he is much older, he is so much more experimental than the other men I've experienced sex with - which by the way is a very pathetic four. LOL. so the people who are so keen and clogging my mailbox, really, i doubt you are going to get any action.
He even wants to try anal, which is like so exciting. heh.
He knows what he wants and knows how to demand it from me.
He knows how to sexually excite me even when i'm just in his car and knows how to reduce me to beg for more in bed.
I supposed i am a woman who secretly likes to be controlled in some perverse way.
and i think i must mention that before him i could just be sexually starved for a few months, maybe even six months? Which horrified my gay friends in whom i've been confiding in about my sex life.
So i like sex with him and i really enjoy it.
sometimes i resent the cuddly-up moments which hoodwinks me into thinking it's love - you know how we girls get confused in the end.

===

sex apart, i like talking to him. he is much older. i like the way he 'daddy-s' me when i say stupid things like how i want to kill self (no not suicidal lah!)
I don't know, i guess it is just chemistry.
whenever i'm stressed or need to get out, obviously i'd think of him.

i suppose we are a bit more ''stable'' now that we've been meeting up more. like i said, i know what i should do, but stupidly, i'm not doing it.

i guess it is also me. i have low self-esteem and sometimes i just feel so lousy i think i should be grateful someone wants to shag me. yet on occasion i have been told that i'm pretty.

Sigh. i am still leaving but have not tendered. and sometimes with the uncertainty in life, sometimes you just want to throw caution to the winds. or maybe it's wise to just stop thinking so much and just enjoy whatever or what it's worth. but to shut off the part of me which thinks and rationalizes - would i still be me?

so thanks for reading thus far, i am one confused girl. thanks to those who say i sound like a nice girl. nice to hear that, heh.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

Thanks for your replies. I thought of not posting already because I know I am asking for advice, getting proper advice and logically, I already know what I should do, emotionally and sexually, I get confused.

First off, the sex is good. Given he is much older, he is so much more experimental than the other men I've experienced sex with - which by the way is a very pathetic four. LOL. so the people who are so keen and clogging my mailbox, really, i doubt you are going to get any action.
He even wants to try anal, which is like so exciting. heh.
He knows what he wants and knows how to demand it from me.
He knows how to sexually excite me even when i'm just in his car and knows how to reduce me to beg for more in bed.
I supposed i am a woman who secretly likes to be controlled in some perverse way.
and i think i must mention that before him i could just be sexually starved for a few months, maybe even six months? Which horrified my gay friends in whom i've been confiding in about my sex life.
So i like sex with him and i really enjoy it.
sometimes i resent the cuddly-up moments which hoodwinks me into thinking it's love - you know how we girls get confused in the end.

===

sex apart, i like talking to him. he is much older. i like the way he 'daddy-s' me when i say stupid things like how i want to kill self (no not suicidal lah!)
I don't know, i guess it is just chemistry.
whenever i'm stressed or need to get out, obviously i'd think of him.

i suppose we are a bit more ''stable'' now that we've been meeting up more. like i said, i know what i should do, but stupidly, i'm not doing it.

i guess it is also me. i have low self-esteem and sometimes i just feel so lousy i think i should be grateful someone wants to shag me. yet on occasion i have been told that i'm pretty.

Sigh. i am still leaving but have not tendered. and sometimes with the uncertainty in life, sometimes you just want to throw caution to the winds. or maybe it's wise to just stop thinking so much and just enjoy whatever or what it's worth. but to shut off the part of me which thinks and rationalizes - would i still be me?

so thanks for reading thus far, i am one confused girl. thanks to those who say i sound like a nice girl. nice to hear that, heh.

Sorry to hear about your dilemma sweetie...but FB is purely for the present...yet your mind is trying to make it into some sort of fairy tale love story...

As long as you enjoy his company and the sex with him...I do not see why you have to end it.

Why do you care if he is lying to you?? Does what he say make you feel good? Just like the sex? If your answer is yes, then he is good for you.

Despite what others have said and I do see their points of view...this is how life is...

You are young and you may or may not know how difficult it is in life, to find that one person who makes you hum and tingle in all the right places...whether done honestly or through lies...who cares?!?!?!

Do you have a future with him? Define future...the next one year? the next 10 years? Till death do you part?

Sorry to be blunt here but even his wife cannot be certain of the 'till death do you part' time frame...


As long as you are enjoying your life with him around you, then enjoy it.

I am not bullshitting you and you know this...the pain WILL come...with FB, because there is no commitment (which is the whole point of having a FB)...so it should not last the distance.
However, my point of view is this...why bring forward the pain?
You know you will suffer for this relationship...let's say you have been with him for a year now...the pain will probably be the same as after you have been with him for ten years...

The return on (your emotional) investment will be much better to suffer the pain (albeit maybe a tad more...or, it could be less if he turns into an arsehole before the due date and you find the strength to walk out on him on you own accord...) for a ten year period of enjoyment instead of a one year enjoyment term.

Please do not misunderstand me...I am not saying you should not try to find a suitable BF while you hang out with him...but according to you...not many men measure up...so for now...he is all you have in terms of qualified lover...

Don't freak him out, don't give him ultimatums...just enjoy being with him...accept the attention he gives and stop concerning yourself with whether it is real...you are enjoying it right? Then it is real.

Do you really think that all couples are always honest and real with each other? You are in a sex forum, how many couples are in here together, chatting and sharing ideas?? Yes there are some but those are the minority...do NOT corner yourself into thinking that a real boyfriend would love you more...there is not point in getting more love if you do not feel it.

You do feel the closeness with him? Great...enjoy it...too many people in this world do not get that even with their spouse, GF/BF...

Women often wonder why guys still cheong when we have gf or wife at home...I can't speak for all the other bros in here...but for me...I used to cheong because I was looking for what you have....that closeness, that physical attraction...that chemistry...and that great sex...if not with this woman, then maybe with the next...

I know that when I find her...I will hang on for dear life...will she lie to me? Will she be with me forever? Will she change and what we have may all be lost? I do not know and frankly sweetie...I do NOT care...so long as I am having a blast with her and I am loving it...if the pain comes later...I will deal with it then....if the pain doesn't come...then I shall whisper a big thank you to the heavens and love her a little bit more every day...

You are falling into the trap of social norms...there is no social norm for FB...it just is...take it or leave it...but my only question to you is this, sweetie...How sure are you that by leaving him, you will be happier??

If you cannot answer me that you are certain you will be happier, then you are gambling with your own happiness by walking out on someone who can make you happy right now.

Same goes for changing the nature of your relationship with him...if you are not sure that by changing him from a FB into a BF will make you much happier, then don't toy with it...be grateful for what you have in the way that you have it...

Please think about what I have said even though it may not be what you want to hear...I do not believe in using other people's strength of conviction when it comes to my own matter of the heart...we are all wired differently and logic may or may not help...what's important is to be happy for the present.

Best of luck. :*