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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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Old 21-01-2023, 10:20 PM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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My last day here- This is my story. AMA

[PART 1]
Hi all, today will be my last day here as I have resolved to quit this scene for good. Before I go, I want to share my story to inspire those who may read it. This is me being my most vulnerable and authentic. Nobody on this planet knows that I visit ML/FL, except for a certain priest who I confessed to.

I am a 24 year old undergraduate at a local university. I came from a good middle-class background and attended church regularly. During my A-levels which I took at one of the top jcs here, I even managed to score straight As. On the outside, I look prim and proper. But everything is just a cheap act- I am simply wearing a mask to keep up appearances. There are only 2 people who know the true depravity of my heart - God and I.

I first came into the scene after a short holiday in thailand, where I visited a sex club(which showcased ping-pong shows, etc) and came back to Singapore with a massive case of blue balls. Instead of wanking off and calling it a day, lust took over me and I booked my first ML on SLG. I still remember my first time and the name of the ML(shuang shuang) who serviced me. The euphoria of zhut zhut on a hot syt was addictive beyond measure. But as I soon realised, all cheap pleasures in life come at a cost, far beyond the $120 that I paid.

After my first session, there was no turning back. Having broken the mental barrier of visiting a commercial sex worker, I fell down the rabbit hole of sammyboy and dirty massages. Ironically enough, my nickname encapsulated what I am right now - a man full of regrets. Perhaps I had the foresight to predict where this dark path would lead me, but the thrill of this lifestyle simply hijacked all logical reasoning.

Before I knew it, my visits to ML became a full blown addiction. Initially it was difficult to book due to my new number, so I was forced to settle for landmines, aunties, and mediocre plain janes. I still remember having booked a visit to a ML at the infamous min wah hotel. When i opened the door, the ML looked quite cui and the place was lapsup as fuck. Paid her a $50 rejection fee on the condition that she wrote a good review for me which she accepted. Later on i found out from another ML that I still had no record. Felt like a fool thinking that a whore would honour her word lol.

Over time, I managed to visit almost all the so-called ang pais on SLG. Having spent over $5k over an 8-month period, honestly the only gem that I found was xiao xue. Young pretty syt with a body to die for. The most supple and soft natural D cup boobs which fit her frame perfectly. And for those complaining about her vanillaness, yes she did allow me to zhut her every single time(just to rub it in one last time before I go lol). Perhaps in another life in an alternative universe I could meet a girl like her and make her my girlfriend. Unfortunately we live in the reality of lao aunties on SLG, so too bad I guess lol.Now you're probably wondering- Why did I spend so much money on different girls with average looks? Because it was an addiction to me. The thrill of meeting a new 7/10 ML was far greater than constantly RTF a 10/10 ML.

Eventually this addiction led me to try out bbbj which led to a certain health scare that cost me $600 to test for at a private clinic(thankfully was negative). Honestly looking back, most of the ladies offering bbbj are old and quite cui. Not hot at all. But alas, the high of blowing my load in a ML mouth was more than enough to lower my standards.

The worst part of this addiction is the need to constantly find new thrills. When i first started, I swore to only stick to HJ, but now I was craving to try a FL. One day I was browsing through the domes and the horniness just took over me. Those who are addicted will know the feeling. Feels like you are possessed by something and the only thing that matters is getting your fix of the thrill. This ended up in me visting 4 different FLs on 4 consecutive days. Yup thats right, I went on a sex rampage. How did I sustain the energy? Because I workout and take a supplement called ZMA which helps to replenish sperm quickly lol.

Anyways, everything changed on my 4th visit. She was a hot and exotic syt. I started to french her in missionary position and my rock hard dick was grinding against her. Eventually I got off her and rubbed my dick against her pussy. There was no resistance from her - so I penetrated her raw. Before i got into this scene, I would NEVER even think of rawing a FL. But thats what this addiction does- it makes us do unthinkable things that are out of our character.

Rawing her was honestly the greatest high of my sex journey so far. Soon, i turned her over and banged her in pronebone. It was only 2mins of banging but I was going to shoot my load. For context, it takes me 20mins to shoot during bbbj. That was how much this experience turned me on. Creampie is honestly one of my greatest fetishes, and I was about to finish in her raw. But for some reason, a divine miracle at the eleventh hour happened. For some reason I regained my presence of mind and could think rationally. At the last moment, I pulled out and finished on her back. Soon enough I regained my post nut clarity and was absolutely disgusted with myself. What in the ACTUAL FUCK was I thinking? Wanting to raw creampie a FL and risk pregnancy and stds over 5 mins of fun.

[Continues in part 2]
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  #2  
Old 21-01-2023, 11:14 PM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

[Part 2]

Once the deed was done, all I could think about was how low I had fallen. From a once innocent young boy to a sex addict rawing a FL. This addiction had consumed me and degenerated my mind. As I reflected on my life, I realised that this lifestyle is just a dark pit of destruction and emptiness. Once you start its FUCKING hard to stop. You just keep wanting to find new thrills. It never fucking ends. Eventually one day you realise you have become a completely different person.

But this is where the miracle of my life truly happened. As I was walking out of the place feeling depressed and disgusted with myself, I suddenly had the urge to go to a nearby church. As fate would have had it, there was mass service happening at that hour. Before that however, the priest was giving confessionals. For those who dont know, basically you confess to a priest of your sins behind closed doors and he is bounded by an oath to never tell anyone, no matter how illegal or wrong it is. Wah I tell you , that shit was next level therapy. Keeping this addiction a secret and living a double life is tiring as fuck. Those of you in this forum with girlfriends and wives will understand what i mean. If you're thinking of bringing this secret to your grave, you can do what I did, even if you're an atheist. Trust me, it will take the weight off your shoulders and make you feel less guilty. And its free too, so you can skip the therapy, lol.

Anyways, service began and I managed to take holy communion. Basically this means confessing our sins to God, and wanting to repent. But this is where the magic happened. You see, over the past 8 months I NEVER wanted to quit. I enjoyed the fuck out of it, like a kid in a candystore. There was no guilt or remorse, I was completely desensitized to it. I was just a fucking addict chasing after the next thrill. Thats what this addiction does, you dont even realise what youre doing is fucked up or wrong. The high simply hijacks your brain and you cant think rationally. But for the very first time in 8 months, i wanted out. I wanted to get the fuck out of this lifestyle and run as far as possible. It was like being blind your whole life and suddenly being able to open your eyes. I realised that this addiction had consumed me and led me on a dark path. All the time,money and energy wasted on vice which added no value to my life. All the fucking lies and excuses I made to my family about where I was, when in fact I was bonking a FL. This was all just escapism from reality, cheap pleasure which does not satisfy and give 0 happiness.

And let me tell you something, this vice does indeed dehumanise you. I can say this from my first hand experience. This shit corrupts the soul and mind 100%. You start to see women as sex objects and only think about your own sexual pleasure. Why do you keep seeing samsters on the news for upskirts, sex crimes, etc? Because i tell you the truth, their mind and soul kena corrupted like fuck liao. Till the point they dont even realise that what they're doing is wrong. Thats how dark this lifestyle is.

So what exactly is the point of me sharing my story? Firstly, to inspire others in the forum and warn newbies who are new to this thinking that its "cheap fun". No its not cheap at all. The price you pay for is your own soul. This shit corrupts the fuck out of you. Im not being a religious zealot preaching from a moral high ground. I've been through this bullshit first-hand. And once you start its FUCKING hard to stop. Secondly, I want to write my story here so I can revisit this post whenever i have the urge to go back to my old ways. Not gonna lie, the temptation is strong as fuck. After i went home I keep having the urge to revist the FL and creampie her raw. Even went to book with okt, but managed to wank 2 times in a row and had the clarity to cancel. Thats how strong this addiction is. And if I ever relapse, I will probably be seeking professional help. Probably more worth it than paying $150 to bang a third-world villager lol.

To the attached/married guys reading this, ask yourself this, do you want to constantly live with the guilt of a double life? To break your matrimonial vows? To destroy the intimacy you have with your wife? Disappoint your kids by letting them know daddy is paying money to fuck a hooker? Or worse still, spread stds to your wife?

To the single guys reading this, do you want to waste time, energy and money on this meaningless vice? Or spend your resources wisely to build your life and become successful? Do you want std scares? By the way now DSC wait time is 3 mths, so you need to visit private like I did, which is expensive as fuck. Do you want to fall down this rabbit hole like I did and end up with regrets? Live with the shame of visiting hookers for the rest of your life?

By the way guys, im not preaching from a moral high ground, feel free to disagree with me. Im just sharing my own personal experiences. But I must admit, it feels FUCKING GOOD to be free from this addiction. Finally wake up my fucking idea. This must be how all those guys who kena KC or gong-taoed by siambus must feel after wanking and having post-nut clarity lol.

I know this healing journey will be difficult as fuck, but i will persevere. I know some of yall will read this and slam me. Perhaps say things like "Dont step religious","there's nothing wrong with this lifestyle", etc. But let me just say this. Don't ever try to glorify this lifestyle. It's fucking disgusting. Because throughout all cultures, across all religions, and through the span of human history, this has always been a vice. And I know that history is on my side.

Signing out,

Regretfulman, a man full of regrets
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  #3  
Old 24-01-2023, 12:32 AM
expatamerican expatamerican is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

Ah the unfettered zeal of newly coverted..lol. The fact that you posted all of this on a hooker board that you are still a member of means you are still hooked. Religion is a poor substitute for pussy. You sex drive is based on millions of years of evolution. Religion is a feeble man made concept. In the end sex wins. Hence the pedo Priests and pregnant nuns. But enjoy the halo for a couple of weeks until the balls bulge again and you are browsing SBF and trolling Geylang like the rest of us..
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  #4  
Old 24-01-2023, 10:13 AM
peeboy75 peeboy75 is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

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Originally Posted by expatamerican View Post
Ah the unfettered zeal of newly coverted..lol. The fact that you posted all of this on a hooker board that you are still a member of means you are still hooked. Religion is a poor substitute for pussy. You sex drive is based on millions of years of evolution. Religion is a feeble man made concept. In the end sex wins. Hence the pedo Priests and pregnant nuns. But enjoy the halo for a couple of weeks until the balls bulge again and you are browsing SBF and trolling Geylang like the rest of us..
His "last day here" BS been dragging on several days already and he's still here.. Lol..
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  #5  
Old 24-01-2023, 08:49 PM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

Sorry let me be more clear. My last day chionging MLs and FLs. I will still be replying replies and PMs. This is an AMA after all lol
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  #6  
Old 24-01-2023, 11:02 PM
Penguin23 Penguin23 is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

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Originally Posted by Regretfulman View Post
Sorry let me be more clear. My last day chionging MLs and FLs. I will still be replying replies and PMs. This is an AMA after all lol
If you wanna leave, just go quietly.

No need to broadcast your departure like some evangelist preacher.

I find your behaviour strange and somewhat irritating, posting a new thread in multiple Domes - presumably to maximize readership.

Minus 45 points for you.
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Old 25-01-2023, 04:07 AM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Originally Posted by Penguin23 View Post
If you wanna leave, just go quietly.

No need to broadcast your departure like some evangelist preacher.

I find your behaviour strange and somewhat irritating, posting a new thread in multiple Domes - presumably to maximize readership.

Minus 45 points for you.
Yes you are right. Maximizing readership is my aim. Just wanted to share my experience to as many people as possible. In fact, many bros here have replied and pm-ed me that they share similar experiences.

I find it puzzling that you found my post jrritating. Surely posting something unorthodox that provides a different perspective would be refreshing for a change. Or is this a forum where only herd-mentality is encouraged? Where only the mainstream narrative holds true?

Regardless, feel free to downvote me. That's your perogative, and a function of this chat forum.
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  #8  
Old 25-01-2023, 04:31 AM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by expatamerican View Post
Ah the unfettered zeal of newly coverted..lol. The fact that you posted all of this on a hooker board that you are still a member of means you are still hooked. Religion is a poor substitute for pussy. You sex drive is based on millions of years of evolution. Religion is a feeble man made concept. In the end sex wins. Hence the pedo Priests and pregnant nuns. But enjoy the halo for a couple of weeks until the balls bulge again and you are browsing SBF and trolling Geylang like the rest of us..
Yes you are right. Sex addiction is not easy to kick. The dopamine neural pathways from the ecstasy of this lifestyle have been seared into the inner limbic functions of my brain.

Temptations are real and strong. Withdrawal symptoms are not easy to deal with. Will I crumble under the pain and give in to my base desires? Or will I rise up a new man cleansed in the crucible of fire? Only time will tell.

But regardless of the outcome, i plan to have it publicly documented here. It will serve as a warning and inspiration to old and new samsters. To some cynics, it will simply be seen as an age-old tale that continuously repeats itself, and to a large extent, always ends in tragedy.

Most importantly, this forum serves as a platform for me to be authetic and vulnerable. Under the guise of anonymity, I am truly able to be myself. No masks. No double life. No holier-than-though facade. Above all, my flaws reveal my humanity. Regardless of my station in life, I am simply a mortal. A mortal who has stumbled, failed, and is trying to rise up from the ashes of destruction. It is proof that I have lived, learned, and overcame(for now at least lol).
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Old 25-01-2023, 05:01 AM
Akim3 Akim3 is online now
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

Camping to see if itís RAW or NAW for regretful
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Old 26-01-2023, 01:28 AM
Qwerty6969 Qwerty6969 is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

I understand.

I myself too, was a prim and proper person. But now I live a double life. One day I will be fetching my kids from school, another day I will be fucking my AP raw and going on hot dates. Sometimes i feel very guilty and I want to end but many times I tell my AP but he doesn't want to. On the other hand i feel liberated as i have never experienced oral at all nor anyone who is so in love with me and i had the best sex of my life at this moment in time. Many a times my guilt make me yoyo to the extreme ends of the spectrum of emotions.

I don't know but someday, maybe someday I will end this.
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Old 26-01-2023, 10:24 AM
Penguin23 Penguin23 is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

Quote:
Originally Posted by Regretfulman View Post
Yes you are right. Maximizing readership is my aim. Just wanted to share my experience to as many people as possible. In fact, many bros here have replied and pm-ed me that they share similar experiences.

I find it puzzling that you found my post jrritating. Surely posting something unorthodox that provides a different perspective would be refreshing for a change. Or is this a forum where only herd-mentality is encouraged? Where only the mainstream narrative holds true?

Regardless, feel free to downvote me. That's your perogative, and a function of this chat forum.
If we turn this argument around, and I go into your church forum with an anonymous nick, then go on a tirade expounding the pleasures of the flesh trade and tell these holy fuckers what they are missing in life - then claim that this is a refreshing change.

How do you think the church-goers will feel?

The only reason you dare to do this, is because the forum is anonymous.
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  #12  
Old 26-01-2023, 11:30 AM
peeboy75 peeboy75 is offline
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

This dude just reminded me of a situation i encountered playing those jackpot machines in SAFRA and NTUC clubs-there is this dude that likes to lurk around people playing the machines, often times he would chat up with other lurkers.. Saying he was an addict in the past blah blah.. Once or twice he would put in a few coins and then go back to lurking in the background, commenting in front of others playing that the "jackpot" is coming soon blah blah.. He was still clearly an addict.. Enjoying the sights and sounds of the environment.. and pissing off others that is actually playing... Haha.. this dude kinda remind me of that person..
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Old 26-01-2023, 03:47 PM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty6969 View Post
I understand.

I myself too, was a prim and proper person. But now I live a double life. One day I will be fetching my kids from school, another day I will be fucking my AP raw and going on hot dates. Sometimes i feel very guilty and I want to end but many times I tell my AP but he doesn't want to. On the other hand i feel liberated as i have never experienced oral at all nor anyone who is so in love with me and i had the best sex of my life at this moment in time. Many a times my guilt make me yoyo to the extreme ends of the spectrum of emotions.

I don't know but someday, maybe someday I will end this.

Such is the duality of man. Without light there is no darkness. Hope you find a way to internalize your feelings and make peace with yourself.


But i agree with the emotions part. I also suffered crazy mood swings when i was chionging. Like as if I lost my mind. I suspect is due to the euphoric highs of sex. Too much will disrupt our nervous system and dopamine functions in our brain.
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Old 26-01-2023, 03:49 PM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peeboy75 View Post
This dude just reminded me of a situation i encountered playing those jackpot machines in SAFRA and NTUC clubs-there is this dude that likes to lurk around people playing the machines, often times he would chat up with other lurkers.. Saying he was an addict in the past blah blah.. Once or twice he would put in a few coins and then go back to lurking in the background, commenting in front of others playing that the "jackpot" is coming soon blah blah.. He was still clearly an addict.. Enjoying the sights and sounds of the environment.. and pissing off others that is actually playing... Haha.. this dude kinda remind me of that person..
Perhaps you are right, only difference is that I am not putting in any coins lol
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Old 26-01-2023, 04:00 PM
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Re: My last day here- This is my story. AMA

Which church you went for confession?
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