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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 30-05-2023, 12:41 AM
FloweryMonk FloweryMonk is offline
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Re: Divorce Lawyers - Recommend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
1. rough estimation i think you should prepare for at least 20k to be safe. You can always get a quote from legal firm first, before committing too it.
2. sorry it doesnt work this way here. WC overrules a lot of things in singapore law.
3. I think you are not being rational here. You are making decisions purely based on emotion now. Calm down and think it through. And also consider your son's FUTURE. As a child victim of such divorce before, i can tell you that parents having money is much much more important than custody issue. If i am your child, i would rather you save up the money to support me / my studies etc when i grow older. Your son may not feel it now, but he will when the time comes.
4. I can only say to you, that things are not that simple in the real world. Many mothers are not fit to be one as well. Yes you may be innocent. but the legal process you have to go through to prove it, is certainly enough to destroy what you have now. I'm not saying that you should just give up because of this. I'm saying you have to be very prepared if you want to go thru it. Worse is you go through it halfway and give up. You paid the price but got nothing in the end if you give up halfway. The stress itself can almost kill you.
5. You have not met the limits of a woman's scorn. They dragging your son to death is much more worse than dragging you to death. Dont you agree? Have you not heard of stories where mothers wear red and jump down a building hugging her child? When a woman has pure hate for you, she will look for the worst possible way to screw your life. Comes to the point where Death, is the easy way out.
thanks brother, u have good advises that set me thinking for days.
1) if no need 20k upfront payment, but progressive over 2 years is ok for me.
2) will WC support false accusation? i too have a lot of factual accusations which happened over the years but i dun have paper proof. i am thinking how to get substantial proof.
3) i am calming down for 2 months before now. thinking is not what i am good at, and i still dun understand the argument of money over custody. But i will save for my son's future and will be able to support whether now or in future.
4) do you mean WC will make me guilty as accused until proven innocent? but yes i am prepared. i endured all the pains over the past 10 years and even now i felt painful / stress that i can drop tears in public. i need to be brave now.
5) i believe the mother loves her son too much to drag him to death with her. But i believe the mother will commit suicide when pushed to the extreme emotions. Belief in this had myself tied to being a yes-man in this household for years and enduring all the abuses. My son also see in the family and pointed out to me that she is trying to guilt-trip me. this is the first time i learn this word "guilt-trip". That is why he ask me to try to fight for him because my son wants to see whether the judge interpret it the same way as my son did.
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  #17  
Old 30-05-2023, 12:51 AM
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Re: Divorce Lawyers - Recommend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpitZur View Post
Personally, if the kid is 12yrs old now, even if you add in the estimated duration of all the pending legal proceedings, he will almost or as good as turn 16yrs old already.
If you think objectively, then all the expenses time effort etc for the legal will be for nothing.
I still strongly recommend you use this time to build your own capital assets and wait for your kid to turn 16.

That's my opinion, it may not be the same as yours.
thanks brother, i did think objectively over the past 10 years. i believe and trust in this family will remain unbroken, which is best for my son, if i can endure more pain onto myself from her bullshits. Now i am left with nothing but debts, incurred by her but under my name to show. in fact, i am homeless now after chased out. Again the question of custody vs money comes here. i think money can be earned again but custody is cast in stone after court judgement.
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  #18  
Old 30-05-2023, 01:05 AM
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Re: Divorce Lawyers - Recommend?

A few more questions,
1) while waiting for a decision on how much to pay her alimony/maintenance, how much should i be giving to her monthly since she is with my son while i am out of house?
2) while waiting for a judgement on custody, can she prevent me from seeing my son?
3) while waiting for a judgement on custody, can my son live with me instead of his mother? or live with a 3rd party?
4) can i retrieve my past medical records from hospital or police records / cases from the police? how to do as i want to get proof of her bullshit?
5) how can i retreive her past medical records? she said she had depression
6) will getting a gf or cheonging further damage my standing in a contested divorce?
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平生不修善果,
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Last edited by FloweryMonk; 30-05-2023 at 05:29 AM. Reason: add more questions
  #19  
Old 30-05-2023, 08:03 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Divorce Lawyers - Recommend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FloweryMonk View Post
thanks brother, u have good advises that set me thinking for days.
1) if no need 20k upfront payment, but progressive over 2 years is ok for me.
2) will WC support false accusation? i too have a lot of factual accusations which happened over the years but i dun have paper proof. i am thinking how to get substantial proof.
3) i am calming down for 2 months before now. thinking is not what i am good at, and i still dun understand the argument of money over custody. But i will save for my son's future and will be able to support whether now or in future.
4) do you mean WC will make me guilty as accused until proven innocent? but yes i am prepared. i endured all the pains over the past 10 years and even now i felt painful / stress that i can drop tears in public. i need to be brave now.
5) i believe the mother loves her son too much to drag him to death with her. But i believe the mother will commit suicide when pushed to the extreme emotions. Belief in this had myself tied to being a yes-man in this household for years and enduring all the abuses. My son also see in the family and pointed out to me that she is trying to guilt-trip me. this is the first time i learn this word "guilt-trip". That is why he ask me to try to fight for him because my son wants to see whether the judge interpret it the same way as my son did.
1) Yes progressive payment. Over how long? i'm not sure. Depends on court date and complexity of the case. $10k upfront just to open the case is expected (this was pre covid pricing).

2) WC does not support false accusations. But it does not penalise the woman from making false accusations. She can make countless false police reports against you and nothing will happen to her.

3) its a personal choice for this.

4) WC will not make you guilty till proven otherwise in court, but it will make you guilty in society. Assuming you are a salaried employee. How do you think your co workers and employer feel, when police come to your work place every few weeks and drag you away to "assist in investigations". Or even your ex wife making up false accusations and post it on social media to make your employer look bad? If you are self employed, it will be much less of a trouble for you.

5) yes a mother loves her child, for sure. But.... this love also extends to "love beyond life". Not just in life. Which is why some mothers hug their child and die together, than to lose them to someone else. Yes she will even abuse your child just to keep him. I was a victim myself. Almost died too when she cornered me at home and waved that chopper right into my face. Was at the point that i almost risked it all to fight her for my life rather than let her do it. Lucky she didnt make that chop.
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